Ep 80: Power Struggles Pt. II Dissent Builds Discernment

Meeting our children where they’re at during power struggles requires a one-two step. First, honor their mission to come into their own and respect the resistance. Then, power-with with them and be a guardrail: a kind and firm presence for them to feel safe in.

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Episode Summary

This episode is part two of the previous episode. If you haven’t listened to it, I highly recommend you first check out Ep 79: Power Struggles? Fight For What’s Right, Not Who’s Right. In this episode, you and I are going to explore one idea from child development science and practice one strategy that you can experiment with to meet your child in power struggles without giving up your power and letting your change agents run the household or powering over them and imposing your will over theirs. Let’s use your child’s dissent as a radical care moment to build your child’s discernment muscles.

Full episode transcript here.

Episode Outline

  • Why children say “no” according to child development science? 

  • How to Power-With During Power Struggles

  • Invitation: Co-Reg then Correct

  • Example #1: Negotiation at bedtime

  • Example #2: Hitting

  • Dissent- met with care- becomes discernment

Resources Mentioned:

Ep 79: Power Struggles? Fight For What’s Right, Not Who’s Right

The Activity Book for African American Families by the National Black Child Development Institute and the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development

The Emotional Life of the Toddler by Alicia Lieberman

Touchpoints: Birth to Three by T. Berry Brazelton and Joshua Sparrow

Ep 12: Three Ways to Turn Toddler Tantrums into Teachable Moments

Ep 13: Decolonizing Discipline: Replacing Punishment with Boundaries & Accountability

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