Ep 40: Healing Abandonment Wound & Shifting from Codependence to Interdependence

"To protect yourself from being abandoned, you had to overlearn abandoning yourself to hyper-focus on what your caregivers needed and abandoning your authenticity to shapeshift into the quote unquote “perfect child” they wanted you to be. By mastering this strategy of people pleasing, you hoped they wouldn’t have to leave you."

A smiling woman with short black hair, wearing colorful earrings and a green embroidered top against a pink background. Text on image reads 'Come Back to Care with Nat Vikitsreth.'

Episode Summary

In this episode, you and I are going to explore an aspect of attachment theories that can help us make sense of our fear of rejection and abandonment. As per usual, we’ll also layer a political analysis on top. Then, you’ll unpack one invitation you can experiment with to heal your wound of abandonment and shift from codependence to interdependence in your parenting practice. 

Full episode transcript here.

Social media graphic promoting the Come Back to Care Podcast featuring episode 40 with a quote about attachment and survival strategies in relationships, and icons for Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Amazon Music.

Episode Outline

  • What fear of emotional abandonment looks like- both gifts and wounds- in adult relationships.

  • How is this wound of emotional abandonment inflicted: Attachment theories explained.

  • What codependence has got to do with it?

  • Shifting from codependence to interdependence in adult relationships.

  • What fear of abandonment looks like in parenting: the obvious and not-so-obvious patterns.

  • Family rules you teach your child can shed light on abandonment wound.

  • What’s re-parenting inner child aka healing inner child wounds?

  • One acronym to begin healing abandonment wound.

An open teal envelope with a white letter inside it, displaying the '@' sign.

Sign up for the Care Collective Newsletter

My wholehearted goal is to be a ray of sunshine in your inbox and send you information and inspiration 1 time (or 2 max) a week.

Book cover titled 'The In-Out N-Through Program' with a subtitle about transforming parenting from autopilot to conscious, decolonized, ABCD parenting. The cover features illustrations of diverse parents and children.
Cover image of a guide titled "Beyond Time In & Time Out: What to Do with Toddler Tantrums & Meltdowns" by Nat, aimed at parents and caregivers, including a colorful illustration of diverse parents and children, and a logo.

Take what you need, leave the rest.

There are two free trainings for you to choose. Take one or both!

Talking to Kids about Race in Ways that They Get & You Don’t Sweat Course

and/or

Beyond Time In & Time Out: What to Do with Toddler Tantrums & Meltdowns, a Self-Guided Audio Workshop

A colorful, hand-drawn style illustration of a jar with three pink hearts on its surface, surrounded by an orange butterfly shape and orange lines indicating brightness or radiance on a black background.

COME BACK TO CARE IS ON PATREON!

Join me in a virtual gathering once a month for you to digest the information in the podcast with me and other Social Justice Curious listeners.

We'll put awareness into action together with group accountability. I'll facilitate this caring space and you come curious and come as you are. We'll support each other in solidarity and co create decolonized parenting and inner child reparenting in action together.

Check Us Out on Instagram

In this episode, you’ll hear six scripts that you can use or adapt when your little one is asking who immigrants are and why people are protesting. 💫 The l!nk’s in b!o to tune in 💫 if you feel called, please leave us a review & sh
Healing intergenerational wounds to reclaim intergenerational gifts… And bring all of our gifts into our unique roles in collective care. This is the theme of my ki-kinote (keynote) delivery tomorrow with the 5th Birth of Brilliance Confere
✨ We've dropped a BONUS episode today! ✨ In this bonus episode, Deepa Iyer shares her wisdom on staying engaged in social change when you’re a caregiver. You’ll explore the roles you can play in liberation and make your advocacy “s
Can I see your identification and badge? Can I see a judicial warrant signed by a judge?