Ep 39: Attachment Basics to Know Before Re-Parenting Your Inner Child

"Yet individualism has us believe that it’s our personal responsibility to embark on our healing journey as a solo assignment, with a checklist of self-improvement to work through on our couch alone. Just as we shift from focusing on attachment style to attachment strategy, I invite you to shift the question from what you do to heal to who you do this healing with."

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Episode Summary

In this episode, you and I are going to explore a question that one listener emailed me about attachment theories: what inner child wounds are and how to re-parent our inner child. So we’ll start by going right to the heart of attachment to explore why we need to shift from saying “attachment styles” to “attachment strategies.” Then, we’ll continue our exploration of why attachment discussions need to be grounded in a social-political analysis; otherwise, we risk perpetuating ableist, individualistic, and patriarchal illusions of mental health. We’re going back to basics together to get at the heart of what it takes to heal.

Full episode transcript here.

A promotional graphic for the Come Back to Care Podcast, Episode 39 featuring a quote from Nat Vikitsreth about caregivers, societal wounds, and the Impact of capitalism on caregiving. The graphic includes a smiling woman with long dark hair and bangs, event branding, and icons for Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Amazon Music.

Episode Outline

  • What’s attachment and why it’s relevant to parenting?

  • Why we need to shift from attachment styles to attachment strategies.

  • Unlearning linear thinking rooted in white supremacy and colonialism.

  • Shifting from getting stuck in survival to re-parenting your inner child.

  • The attachment science behind inner child wounds (aka intergenerational transmission of attachment)

  • Two foundations of inner child wound healing: a) do it with those you trust (bye, individualism and hello, bell hooks) and b) see your parents as people.

  • Why we need to contextualize our caregivers: getting unstuck from blame and applying indigenous theories of trauma

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Book cover titled "Beyond Time In & Time Out: What to Do with Toddler Tantrums & Meltdowns" by Nat, with illustrations of diverse children and caregivers, and a subtitle "Talking to Your Kids About Race in Ways that They Get and You Don't Sweat."

Take what you need, leave the rest.

There are two free trainings for you to choose. Take one or both!

Talking to Kids about Race in Ways that They Get & You Don’t Sweat Course

and/or

Beyond Time In & Time Out: What to Do with Toddler Tantrums & Meltdowns, a Self-Guided Audio Workshop

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COME BACK TO CARE IS ON PATREON!

Join me in a virtual gathering once a month for you to digest the information in the podcast with me and other Social Justice Curious listeners.

We'll put awareness into action together with group accountability. I'll facilitate this caring space and you come curious and come as you are. We'll support each other in solidarity and co create decolonized parenting and inner child reparenting in action together.

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