Ep 31: How to Work with Parenting Guilt and Self-Judgment: The 4 D’s Framework

“Giving yourself grace and holding your mistakes with tenderness is one of the most radical things you can do in a world that’s forcing you to contort, conform, and perform. As a parent, caregiver, and community weaver, you’re likely giving so much care to others and advocating for others. Being on your own side or self-allyship is necessary to sustain this lifelong practice called liberation.”

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Episode Summary

In this episode, I invite you to explore your parenting guilt and self-judgment through a new perspective, specifically through the lenses of both western psychotherapy and social justice action. You’ll walk you through reflective questions in a framework I call the 4 D’s to transform your parenting guilt and inner critics into actions that align with your values.

Full episode transcript here.

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Episode Outline

Why is working with guilt, shame, and self-judgment important for personal healing and collective liberation?
Teaching our children compassion starts with our own self-compassion.
What happens in our nervous system when guilt kicks in.
Nat’s example of her guilt, coping behavior, and accountability (-ish).
When guilt and power intersects and its cost to equity and liberation.
Reframing guilt as a part of growth.
One parent’s story of their guilt and how they used the 4 D’s framework with Nat
The 4 D’s framework breakdown and examples.
One practice to address guilt and inner critics in the moment they arise.